Hey everyone! I've decided to change blog sites. I'll be found at: blocinmotion.wordpress.com
I've found that it is easier to use and a change of scenery is always nice! I will not be posting here from now on, so all future posts will be found there. Apparently there is a way to send your livejournal posts to your wordpress blog but I'm not all that tech-savvy. It's been great posting here, I've met some amazing people who have posted some of the most thought provoking blogs ever! You guys are awesome!

...is the song playing at the moment on yet another hot day. My face is burned and the pool is always tempting. Tom is asleep upstairs in my room, my brother is probably already swimming. I'm sitting in front of the TV watching cartoons and listening to music. My brain is in some sort of sleep mode. No productive thoughts emerge as often as they used to. I suspect it's the weather.

The past week has given Melbourne the best (and long awaited) representation of summer time. The weather is nice, people can safely wear light clothing without the fear of being rained on and it's as if the city has relaxed since the new year. The beach is finally occupied by friends and families, restaurants are busier, the theaters have quietened down, it's great!

Today I'm meeting tom at his work (although don't be misled by this assumed scenario, he is not even working), then meeting with a new friend to have coffee. It's going to be hot today so I don't anticipate staying the city for too long. I'd rather spend a day indoors, sitting legs crossed in my underwear in front of an osculating fan.

Today has a good-feeling vibe resonating through the air, I hope it stays that way!

I haven't worked in about two weeks, my contract for work ran out and I'm not exactly sure I want to renew it. It's fun but the idea of something new is appealing. Alternatively, maybe if I'm not complaining about my current job I should settle for that rather than go somewhere else which could potentially rekindle my slowly fading hatred for the employees world.

Two hot days in a row, it's good, but bad. Good because these two days represent the summer of which we never had and bad because, well, it's just too hot for a Melbourne kind of summer. Yesterday, before the heat reached something between unbearable and torture, I walked to the post office to collect my tickets to anberlin. I'm seeing anberlin on a thursday night, then the day after I'm going to the Soundwave music festival to see them again (whilst seeing many other amazing bands). Two days in a row! Completely stoked.

I'm eagerly awaiting university to start again, to set a routine back into my life. I feel that I've been doing too much of nothing for far too long. And by doing nothing, that actually means video games, reading books, organizing bank accounts (sooo unbelievably tedious and boring) and slowly piecing together my grand holiday/ stay at London.

So we are 14 days into 2009, I haven't posted any resolutions or summaries of the previous year, I guess I was a fortnight too late. but I'll write a summarized version of my summary: This year I have three resolutions that I will try to stick by, one is to embrace differences, two is to apply myself in my work and three is to save enough money to book a flight, accommodation and have some spending money for my holiday (hopefully) next year. As for 2008, I said that 2007 was the hardest year... I was wrong. 2008 was the first year of university, the year my first relationship came about and the year a bucket load of buried family problems which rose to the surface. I had made friends, lost contact with others. I think I cried more (out of the never-ending flux of frustrations) than any other year. It was a trying year but I was glad i had it. I came out much stronger.

So happy new year for 14 days ago! I'm sure that 2009 will surely impose changes and challenges to our lives and I'm sure we're all strong enough to face them.

"I'm leaving you, are you happy?"

This was the only moment in my life where absolutely nothing mattered. The hardest blow I had to take. The largest state of disbelief. The only thing worse than watching you go is knowing you wouldn't fight for me. I don't know what I am to you. I don't know which words are empty and which are full. I don't know if being together is better than being apart right now.

It said "Being able to survive it... never meant that it was ok."

www.postsecret.com

I haven't felt all that compelled to write something this week, a lot has happened but nothing really changes. I'm in a relationship (4 months strong) and it reconstructed my mindset to place it in front of all priorities. We nearly ended the relationship less than 100 hours ago, but I've found after using verbal constraint, halting the gush of cruel words and seemingly unavoidable problems, none of it mattered. Nothing is ever a problem unless you make it a problem.

Problems are inevitable, there can never be a problem free relationship. Between friends, family, lovers, everyone. So all that we can do is choose carefully which problems affect us most. Dispose all the trivial disputes and tackle the problems you feel like you can't confront alone. I have a fear of being old, in my deathbed and reflecting on my life finding only trivial problems that I clung onto so dearly and with such passion. Wasted passion. Wasted time. A complete waste. Why be miserable and hold onto a pointless dispute when you could share a moment of being happy? If we were conscious of this more often we would be happier people.

Less than 100 hours ago I said that someone deserved better than me. That I just wanted them to be happy because I felt that I was bringing them down. I realize now that I shouldn't think for the other person, I should tend to my own needs as well. If to love is to let something free then I will do that. But I was loving while pushing away, which is significantly different. Sometimes you don't know what you have until it goes. A timeless, well-known saying that rings true. I'm never going to get used to my relationship, I hope I never do. I hope it keeps me busy and gives me something to work on, something to laugh and cry about, something engraved with a spark. I hope it keeps going through highs and lows, and forever shared with the person I love.

My life is one long learning curve. I make mistakes. A lot. I have personal attributes that I try to alter and amend. I'm proud of myself. There are times when I'm not, but I am. I'm trying.

www.twitter.com/chriskicks

something so simple, is so addictive.

I had to settle for something, I thought. My planless day was not so planless anymore. The new arragements beckoned my feet to move faster. I walked into a narrow corridor-esque cafe. One wall covered in black tiles and a row of rectangle mirrors. The concrete floor painted a sea water blue. The black tiles absorbed this color into their own squares and gave the room a bathroom feeling. Above was a painful attempt of modern art that took the form of various boards across the ceiling with various tiger and leopard patterns.

I moved to the bar, opposite the bathroom wall, and ordered a mocha. I pulled out a book from my bag and consumed myself in it. At peace. Finally. This is all I wanted to do. Sit, be left alone and drink some cheap coffee (or mocha). Why is solitude so concerning to people? I'm an alone kind of guy. I like to people watch, I like to guess their achievements as they go by. I like to think, just think and think and get no where. I like the abysmal conversations I spin in my mind that go so far and yet make full circles. I like writing and reading in public places. I like it when other people do it. Since when was a day alone a concern for anyone? It was my personal approach to meditation.

A small boy with a box bigger than his body in his hands walks in. He prepares himself for bad news, he's selling lollies. The barista asks the staff if anyone is interested in purchasing a bag. I stared at the poor boy. Two days until christmas, no present in his hands, just box of hope to fill with some money. I didn't care what the cause was, if I was sucker, I was a sucker. I waved my hand to call him over. Bought a bag and wished him a merry christmas.

What a sad, sad season for so many people. So much hope to receive and not enough love to give. I flipped over the bag where a sticker revealed that the cause was for the benefit of the intellectually disabled. So to the people who are putting their yuletide hopes into these small plastic bags filled with colorful confectioneries, I wish you a merry christmas and next time I see you, I hope my wallet is big enough to buy three more bags.

Still so many things that we don't know,
We take them with a glass of Pinot Grigio,
And the things that never stay the same,
Are just like the fights off Hardware Lane.

Made my way as a squeaking cog,
To a lonely heart-shaped machine,
Trying to keep the motor going,
Trying to prove to be a necessity.

I'm fighting for anything but a war, I want to see this through
I won't believe in anything like the way that I'm believing in you.

In your book of love, I know you're ahead of your story,
But I know there are chapters about me and it's the ending that keeps me going,
If you take my hand, and act like we're constantly winning,
Let's keep that attitude up, and we'll finally beat this city.